there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
