Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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