It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my shit smells like andre
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
