you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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