break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize