I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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