i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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