Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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