the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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