Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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