Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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