finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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