Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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