singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
