Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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