mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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