My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
