I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
