sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
