Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
