watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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