oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize