so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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