take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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