hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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