At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
