just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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