we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
