sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
