You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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