Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
