She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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