Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is it fun? or sober?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
