I cockslap morals
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am one with the molecules
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize