hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
