PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
