I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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