we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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