Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
