At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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