I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
