I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
