Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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