Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
