So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
