she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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