my vag is so smooth its legendary
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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