there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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