I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
