She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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