porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
