Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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