Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
