BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
