omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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