So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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