so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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