...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
