He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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