The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
whose ass print is on the piano?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
