Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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