I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize