Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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