oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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