Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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