as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
